Chapter 270

Genocide Online ~Playtime Diary of an Evil Young Girl~

Masaki Sugou’s Core #

I met Rena Ichijo when I was in middle school.

Back then, I was a brat who had just graduated from elementary school and I saw something “beautiful and different from myself” in her for the first time.

I didn’t understand it very well, but I felt irritated by this strange entity that I couldn’t take my eyes off of.

Something that I couldn’t understand was right in front of me, and it was even more unpleasant that it was forcing my consciousness to focus on it…for some reason, it was unbearable.

“Hey, why are you always alone?”

Being a lot less patient than I am now, I immediately took action.

The girl who always stared at a blank white notebook without writing anything, just holding her pen without moving, was so creepy.

So during break time, I talked to her in frustration whenever I found an opportunity.

…

The only response I received was a silent stare.

In middle school, she seemed even less human than she does now, or rather, she seemed like she had just lost something important.

It was like an empty doll pretending to be human and trying to get through the day…it felt eerie.

“Say something, will you?”

“Um…today’s weather is nice, isn’t it?”

“Huh?”

I’m pretty sure I was the first rough, cheeky, bratty girl she had ever met.

This was a new pattern, and I didn’t know how to respond…it was a shitty response that seemed to have a sub-vocalization saying, “I don’t know what to do.”

Following the instruction to say something, I timidly uttered a template response.

“What the hell are you?”

“I’m Rena Ichijo.”

“Well, yeah, but…”

Ah, even thinking back on it now, it’s a little embarrassing…I didn’t even know what I wanted to ask.

…

That first contact was like a small, embarrassing black history…I was just a nuisance.

“Take your seats, we’re starting class.”

“…Hey, remember this.”

…

He spat out a shitty line like that without even knowing what she wanted…we were together for three years, but she didn’t remember me.

After that, nothing really progressed, and I just bothered her with my nonsense.

…

My frustrating feelings that I couldn’t really understand clearly finally changed by the end of the first semester.

“Are you making fun of me like that!?”

Invited by the voices of their argument, I found her surrounded by several girls behind the unused pool as summer vacation approached.

As a brat, I initially sympathized with the girls surrounding her.

Yeah, her attitude was cheeky, I don’t know what he’s thinking, she should be more friendly…things like that.

“…..”

“But gradually, the opposite opinion would well up from deep within me. Why are you all condemning her? You don’t have to understand what he’s thinking. I don’t even understand what you all are thinking… And on top of that, even she was angry about not being able to answer back, so it’s just ridiculous.

Then, without thinking, I blurted out as I watched one of the girls finally make a move on her.

“Hey, I’m gonna tell the teacher on you!”

“Gah! Sugou!”

“Let’s go!”

I was strong and athletic, and I could study well, so I was high up in the class hierarchy. If I had made an enemy out of her, things would have turned out badly… The girls quickly left the scene.

“Why aren’t you fighting back?”

“Thank you for helping me.”

“Why won’t you answer my question and why is your thank you in the form of a question?”

I don’t know why, but at that moment, I was really…frustrated. It was like she was bound by something and unable to move, and it irritated me to see her just do what she was told, like she was following a script. I couldn’t understand why she was so limited, and it really made me angry.

“Why are you so limited?”

Before I knew it, I was asking her directly and out loud.

“Why are you so limited, just standing there and making me aware of you without doing anything? It irritates me that you, who take away my freedom of thought, are limited.”

…But that misplaced feeling quickly dissipated in the next moment.

“My mom isn’t here anymore.”

She said that and started to cry.

For the first time, I saw her as a person.

For the first time, her raw emotions came to the surface.

For the first time, I understood why I had been so aware of her.

I couldn’t imagine it from the way she is now, but at that time, she was even more unstable… From her words and actions, I could tell that her beloved mother must have passed away. Even if they weren’t that close, a family member’s misfortune can be really hard to bear.

…And I had inadvertently touched upon that without realizing it.

“My bad…”

“And because I was an idiot, I didn’t realize until that moment when it happened that I actually liked her. It was kind of a strange realization, that I could only understand after seeing her crying face.

It was a strange way of realizing it, to be an idiot and only understand after seeing her crying face, but that’s how it happened.

This was the only time she ever showed her emotions and lost control, and after that, she went back to her usual calm self.

But my perception of her changed a lot. Before, she was like a doll, and I couldn’t understand what she was thinking. But now, she seemed like a young child who was bound by something and couldn’t behave as she wanted.

I couldn’t leave her alone… I wanted to be her support.

It’s true that I also wanted to be special to the girl I liked, but more than that, I wanted to help the hurt child.

But I was just an idiot who could only study, so I didn’t know what to do. That’s why, even though three years passed in middle school, I didn’t even leave a memory in her mind.

I felt troubled by that, but by the time we entered high school, she had started to get along with others, or rather, she had gotten better at pretending to be like us normal people. We acted as a sample of how ordinary people should behave, and things were relatively problem-free on the surface.

…But sometimes, when I passed her in the hallway or saw her face from outside the classroom, I could see the crying face from back then.

I wanted her to laugh from the bottom of her heart, but I had no power to do so and couldn’t think of a way… I didn’t even know much about Rena Ichijo, the person she had become.

I took out my pent-up emotions on games.

It was good that the game that was officially scheduled to start in the latter half of the second semester of our first year of high school had a visible indicator called karma points.

…So I tried to help people in the game as much as I couldn’t help her. I looked at the karma points that rose as I helped people, whether they were players or NPCs, and comforted myself with the false relief of ‘Oh, I’m really saving people.’

Of course, I also genuinely loved the game, and the NPCs that behaved almost indistinguishably from real people further drew me in.

And then, on the third day of the game’s official launch… an incident happened.

Yes, it was her.

It was her debut fight, which is now called the Genocide, you know, the one where we were all beaten to a pulp.

At first, I didn’t realize it. Maybe someone would ask, ‘Didn’t you realize it even though it was your first love?’… but I only knew the inconvenient her.

Although I thought she looked similar, I couldn’t connect the dots between Rena Ichijo and the player named Rena.”

“So at first, I was angry with that girl who interfered with my helping people and easily harmed NPCs and players alike.

And then when I found out that Rena was actually her, I was a little shocked.

What should I do… I can’t help her, so instead, I act as a justice warrior in this game. But if that can save her…?

No, but as I played this game, I grew attached to the NPCs, and now I can’t even think of them as strangers… What should I do?

…I was circling around like that with my unfamiliar worries, and the conclusion I came up with was to confront her head-on.

During the first official event, I declared war on her while being super nervous, you know?

But still, when I thought about it again, I realized, ‘I don’t really know her at all,’ and went back to the basics.

So this time, unlike three years ago, I thought I would try to touch her a little, even though she seems like she could break with just a slight push, without running away or being scared.

…But even though I say that, it’s actually me who’s getting beaten up.

But gradually, I began to think, ‘Ah, he’s enjoying the game,’ and I no longer saw her as the inconvenient girl I once knew… He’s different from the girl who couldn’t act freely.

I didn’t feel sorry for her, I just thought she was cool.

So the contrast between her in the game and her in reality stood out even more.

‘Hey, Ichijo.’

‘What is it?’

Even now… when I call out to her and she turns around holding the plastic umbrella I gave her, she looks like a child who’s severely inconvenienced and struggling to breathe.

There’s no cool, free behavior that makes me feel frustrated and makes me want to speak out in a rough tone of voice.

But, you know, I don’t have any level or status or anything in reality, so I can’t save anyone.

‘You absolutely have to come…’

‘…’

‘You haven’t made me angry yet, you know.’

So, the only thing I can do is to invite you to a fun playground.

‘Well, you know, I won’t take it easy on you when we play, Masaki.’

‘Hmph! How about that?’

If it’s in the game world, I can confront you head-on.

You can be free for a moment… in a place like that, this time, I’ll definitely beat you.

…I’m still a gamer, so nothing has changed. I just don’t like always losing or tying, I haven’t won yet.”

‘You’re the only one who can come at me head-on, Masaki.’

‘…Is that so?’